Who am I?

I’m not sure yet. But I used to be ardent cricket fan, trying to follow any cricket played in any part of the world, irrespective of who is involved. Today, I feel very depressed. I feel let down. My faith is destroyed. And, I’m not motivated to watch the sport anymore. As I spill these words, it now makes sense as how the earlier generations must have felt when the match fixing scandal first broke in 2000s’. Guess I reverberated the same words of people from a different era. By the way, I was not too young in 2000s either. It is just that I was not matured enough to understand it then. I thought the game got sane after the bad elements were removed. And, I remember fighting with those elder generations until recently assuring them that the game has come out clean and they should give it a benefit of doubt. By now, it is a no brainer that the elder generations are mocking at me. Well, I hope NOT to become a member of the earlier generations from here. I now faithfully represented the sentiments of a common a cricket fan.

On a personal note, I really did not watch any IPL match this year after the scandal broke. For the sake of time already spent, I kept following the results in news, including playoffs/championships. However, it did not deter my enthusiasm to play the game. But the truth is - I got motivated to play the sport only after passionate following from childhood. Thanks to all those elder generations who induced that love for this sport. Now, my concern is the next generation. After what happened now, parents like me may not be enthusiastic to switch on the TV and watch game. Parents like me may not be excited to send their kids to cricket coaching camp. Parents like me may not be enthusiastic to teach the sport themselves to their kids. Sooner or later people like me will turn deterrent to generation next to love the sport.

Look at what have you done, guys? Until few days ago, I was thinking if IPL was in my era, I would have taken my cricket little too seriously. Never mind, I was still excited for the fact that it is there for my kids generation. IPL gave me the courage to say the future generation kids now have the choice of considering cricket as profession. After (still) following the scandal closely, I’m not sure if I’ve the courage to talk to any kid to pursue cricket seriously.

For some reasons, I’m even losing faith in people like Rahul Dravid or Sachin Tendulkar when they say “they were shocked and surprised”. As of today, Siddharth Trivedi will be the prosecution witness. Trivedi had refused to accept an invitation by Ajit Chandila, to attend a party arranged by bookies. He had also refused money and gifts offered by the bookies. Such a faithful player, I’m sure would have appraised the situation to his captain Rahul Dravid at some point. So, if Dravid knew already, I’m sure Tendulkar knew too. I’m sure a lot of people ranging from players, ex-players, owners, coaches, commentators, support staffs, administrative staffs and many more inside the system knew all about it (and some of them still a part of it waiting to be exposed). If you have watched the Tehelka expose (http://tehelka.com/how-to-fix-greed-2) of 2000 match fixing scandal, I’m sure you will agree with my statement. It is just that none want to be the whistle blower. So, when a Dravid or Tendulkar say they are shocked and surprised, I only have to say that they were shocked and surprised that the scandal actually saw the light of the day. Between, I’m not accusing anybody here, but only venting my frustration.

If you are a regular follower of this blog, you must have known my love for Rahane. I was very upset when Dhoni deprived him opportunities in Indian Cricket. Here and there even Rahane’s name surfaced in the scandal (may be for matches played in previous year). Now if I try to put the pieces together, I’m compelled to lean towards Dhoni. May be Dhoni knew already that Rahane is not a trustable guy and hence kept him away. My frustrations and disappointments are hurting the flow of this article. I think that is how words come out of your mind, when you are in distress.

Another day, I would have been extremely excited for the Champions Trophy. Especially, patting the selectors for presenting a young India team. Now, I really don’t care what happens out there.

Bottom line: It takes a lot to heal this wound.

Dinesh